Mad Neighbour Disease, . . . . .
Mad Grandma Disease
Have you ever wondered where really bad neighbours, Mad Grandmas and people doing really stupid things come from?
Dr. Xxxxx has pioneered a New Medical Condition which he has called Paill Spectrum. In the Paill Spectrum disease model, people at any stage of life may develop these strange symptoms, but most commonly in young adulthood. :-?
Erasmus : Many people especially the aged, behave in strange manners, say strange things, and do strange things, often to the considerable distress of their family and acquaintances. No psychiatric illness is ever diagnosed. Counselling and psychological advice proves ineffective. The problems may be interpreted as scrambled memories in the Paill Spectrum model.
Dr. Xxxxx :
How Can I Tell if These People May Have Paill Spectrum?
Aches & Pains are common Complaints. Most people will look at a Paill Spectrum clinical picture and say, “That’s me.” Alternately, they are often whinging and moaning that they feel unwell, in pain or feel bad.
Paill Spectrum Symptoms
The doctor will often say that as far as he / she can tell, there is nothing wrong with them, when checking them out for causes of these complaints. Usually, most doctors will blame Arthritis or even Fibromyalgia for the symptoms. This means that the only treatments likely are simple pain blocking treatments. Unsurprisingly enough, because they do not treat the underlying cause, (i.e. PaillSpectrum), they don't seem to help much.
- Dizziness or Loss of Balance can be severe. These people may fail a drunkenness test. E.g. They may be unable to stand up straight with their feet together and their eyes closed without swaying. Alternately they may be unable to walk a straight line heel-toe with their eyes closed, without almost falling over.
- Anger, Irritability or Moodiness are common, but only in some personality types. If the person has been mild and innocuous all their life, they will likely still appear that way.
- Some of these people begin to tell strange stories about important people and their relationship to themselves. E.g. When the President or Prime Minister was going to school with me etc. .....
(Only family members may know that this is untrue, though the fact that it is untrue may be able to be worked out from other facts known to the people around the Paill Spectrum affected person.
Dr. Xxxxx : Fixations on specific things are common.
E.g. One man rang up a woman who had told him she was uncomfortable in his presence. The last time she talked to him fifty years ago. She asked him to please buzz off, the last time they talked being fifty years ago. He had only known the woman for a few minutes and could not understand why she had difficulty remembering him, fifty years later. He had become "fixated" on his meeting with this woman, fifty years ago.
The people think a lot about specific issues or problems in their lives. These problems or beliefs start to become intrusively intense. The thoughts begin to "take over" people's lives and lead to affected people doing things that seem just crazy to observers.
E. g. The neighbours are trying to steal my garden plants. This becomes an irrational fixation or belief, if there is no truth to the belief. Those people are watching me. The people next door are stealing my things. etc
Paill Spectrum affected people in age, can fixate on anything anytime, but generally the fixation is on things that assume a high profile in their own minds for prolonged periods of time. The “rejection” in the prior example is the sort of thing likely to annoy a man for quite some time, enabling a “fixation or obsession to develop”. In this case all quite harmless and innocent. Most fixations or obsessions are harmless.
Poor memory for Phone numbers is very common. Forgetting things is common. :-O
Dr. Xxxxx : All these people are technically quite sane and are able to deal with reality. Some may drift away from reality with “cross-linked memories”, but they do not have dementia. If you tell them you will see them at a certain place and time, they will be ready at that time and place, even if the arrangements are for a reasonably distant time frame of weeks later. They can remember quite well and deal with reality quite well. They may even realize that other people are starting to get upset at what they are saying, and be very careful of that they say and to whom they say it. :-}
Neighbourhood disputes and arguments
Erasmus : Mad Neighbour Disease:
In the Paill Spectrum Model
We have all seen people on TV whose behaviour is so different that we comment, “What on earth is wrong with them”. One example is the crazy neighbourhood dispute that appears from time to time on “Current Affairs” shows. The neighbours are involved in some diehard struggle almost to the death, with not a lot of obvious motivation for what is going on. Surveillance cameras, security dogs; poisoning lawns, gardens and animals; and recurrent police attendances: with no end in sight to the conflict.
Compulsory mediation solves nothing. Often the only solution becomes one neighbour moving away or one going to prison.
Doctors are unhelpful. No psychiatric diagnosis is ever given. No treatment is ever dispensed.
Suburban Medical Issues
The common themes in all these occurrences are:
Anger and irritability: almost like a low-grade “road rage”.
Unusual beliefs: persecution, a belief that the other neighbour aims to do them harm.
These symptoms form part of the Paill Spectrum syndrome.
Dr. Xxxxx : Other symptoms in the Paill Spectrum model that may be found if looked for include:
- Poor memory: easily tested by phone number recall: Paill Spectrum affected people at advanced ages have a much poorer capacity to retain and recall numbers.
- A serious symptom of memory problems is when distorted or “mixed up” memories start to appear. People remember associations between events in memory that never occurred. E.g., The Prime Minister or President went to school with my mother and we grew up together. However, typically most memories are normal and correct.
- Number flips and swaps tend to occur more typically in the younger age groups, not the older. The Paill Spectrum condition can affect any person at any age.
- Sweaty hands (and feet), are a very sensitive symptom of Paill Spectrum, but tend to disappear as a symptom, as people age.
- Aches and pains are more common in older age groups, though again the symptoms show an age related incidence. Abdominal soreness in para-aortic and right pelvic (RIF) regions of the stomach are common in many age groups. These symptoms are often confused with pancreatitis, though the pancreatitis blood tests (like serum amylase or lipase levels), are normal: exactly what would be expected if pancreatitis was not the cause of the patient’s pain symptoms.
- Insomnia symptoms are likely, but are common in the general population, so are non-discriminatory symptoms. (Their presence or absence does not help you to make a diagnosis).
- Weight gain and insulin resistance are common events in older patients.
Tiredness and sleepiness or just needing a bit of extra sleep, is common at any age. (Patients typically say, “No I am not tired, even if I do sleep for ten or eleven hours per day!”).
- Palpitations are likely to occur in the Paill Spectrum model.
Blood pressure problems will tend to be seen, especially but not exclusively when renal function (creatinene levels) are preserved.
Blood test being taken
Dr. Xxxxx : The Paill Spectrum model predicts that in these patients typical blood test findings are likely. There is also likely to be a typical response to treatment. Mood, anger, and irritability changes are perhaps the easiest symptoms changes in which to see a treatment response. Typically, changes will be obvious within two weeks to the patient, their relatives, the doctor, and any person familiar with the patient’s usual behaviour.
Many of these symptoms and signs are of illness are common to all Paill Spectrum Illnesses,
The same list of unexpected findings would occur in many patients with a Paill Spectrum condition, since the underlying disease process is the same in all the illnesses.
Where does Jerry Springer find all his unusual people - Paill Spectrum helps.
Neighbours get involved in intense angry squabbles, Family members become worried about the strange things that grandma is starting to say, that perhaps only family members realise are wrong, People do things that make you want to say:” Why Did they do that? What on earth is wrong with them to do that?”
An Angry Face - common in Paill Spectrum.
Erasmus : Paill Spectrum in affecting the frontal lobes of the brain will cause symptoms of Violence, anger, irritability, narrow-mindedness, impulsive, aggressive, picking fights, lack of judgement, poor memory, impulsive or impulsiveness, arguing, domestic violence, road rage, moodiness, and strange intense ideas.
Strangest of all are the elderly people who have misplaced memories. They think the President or Prime Minister came to tea in their house. They believe these people lived in their suburb. The children know it is not true. These symptoms are symptoms of a cross-linked memory syndrome , typically caused by the Paill Spectrum organism progressively damaging neurones. The kids are often very distressed by the weird things grandma or grandpa say. They don't understand why they should say these things. There is no treatment except sedating people's brains, but this increases the risk of falls which is a serious problem in the elderly.
Dr. Xxxxx : This theory suggests that for these people at least, treating their medical condition may help their problem. The damage unfortunately is done. The weird symptoms are probably not just due to aging.
Currently treatment involves sedating psychoactive medicines prescribed by doctors.
But if you don’t treat the illness (instead treating just the symptoms), there will be progressive damage. More abnormal behaviours as well as physical symptoms such as easy bruising, sleep a lot, concentration poor, insomnias, restlessness, dyslexia, clumsy, dizzy, balance, memory loss, jitters and panics, chronic fatigue, tiredness, excess sleepiness, memory loss, forgetful, jitters and panics, anxiety attacks, dizziness or loss of balance, clumsiness, aches and pains such as sore elbows, sore chest, abdominal pain, sore backs of knees, sore Achilles tendons, sore and stiff hands , will occur as the illness progresses
Sweaty Hands :
a classical Paill Spectrum symptom.
Dr AXxxxx : So Long Fuckers, Die Soon!